Alucard vs The Cullens
by HeisenbergofHermes
Summary: Alucard has a job to kill a sparkling family of vampires.
1. Chapter 1 The Cuntllens die

**Tile**: One Night

**Rating**: T

**A/N**: This is completely for amusement, is not to be taken seriously… This just shows a shred of my hatred for twilight and an ounce of my fangirling for Alucard… Don't judge me, this story is for Hellsing fans for the most part, well this is my first time writing a story ever so please be nice XD I proof read, but I know there are probably tons of mistakes so please put up with me I also added blood and organs is here, even though they're supposed to turn into dust… blood and guts just make me happier, so don't tell me about it -! Enjoy!

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Alucard was taking a stroll around the forest in his red hat, carvet and overcoat, orange sunglasses and pristine white gloves. He stopped and gazed at the full moon.

"How beautiful the moon is tonight" Alucard spoke in his deep husky voice.

Alucard was given orders from Integra to go to America and find a group of vampires that were rumored to be extremely gifted and talented beings and might possibly in the future become a threat to humans, so Integra sent Alucard to do the job and take care of them.

When Alucard was in the middle of the forest he still couldn't sense any powerful beings around, perhaps he had to keep looking further?

Alucard continued walking through the forest searching for these "Powerful beings." He stopped and saw a house up further ahead that was 95% window covered walls. He smirked knowing his journey had come to an end.

Alucard was walking to the porch of the house, still not being noticed by these vampires. He observed the house and saw all of the lights in the house on except for one. Since he had a few minutes to spare before continuing his job he thought about what his next move would be.

'Shall I just kill them right away? Have some fun with them? Test their skill?' All of these thoughts crossed Alucard's mind, perhaps these powerful vampires could just be enough to feed his everlasting boredom.

While Alucard was turned he heard footsteps nearing the door. He turned around and as soon as he spotted the door it opened. He quickly saw a blonde male with pale skin and his hair pushed back. It was Carlisle.

"Can I help you?"The man said in a confused voice. Alucard didn't respond. "Do you have a name?"

Alucard's sly grin went across his face, knowing his mind was already made up.

"My Master calls me Alucard" the ridiculously tall vampire said as he casually turned his body to meet the other mans gaze.

"You're a vampire, I can tell" Carlisle said with a warm grin. "Have we met before?"

Alucard was going to go along with normal contact to observe these vampires further, he was planning on slaughtering all of them one by one, but he had to see who the strongest one was first so he could set his terrifying example.

"No, but I was hoping to come inside and meet your family, there's something I would like to see that I'm curious about". The nosferatu said as non- intimidating as he could manage.

"I think the family would be really happy to meet a new vampire!" Carlisle said while gesturing for Alucard to come in.

Alucard bit back a devilish grin and entered the weird house. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in the doorway; even though he was in the house with 8 vampires he still couldn't sense anything powerful let alone intimidating at all! Was this a joke or something?

Alucard was following the man up the staircase and he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Weird paintings on the walls, modern furniture everywhere, and he couldn't smell any human blood at all in the entire house! What kind of vampires were these! Shouldn't they cover more of the windows out to cover the irritating sun? Shouldn't they have coffins? And shouldn't they be surrounded by pitch black stone walls?

Carlisle told Alucard to stay in the hall so he could notify everyone of his arrival. Alucard felt a tad irritated on actually listening to the vampires order but he obliged, only because his mood was good thinking he would finally get a good fight out of this.

"Come in and meet everyone Alucard" Carlisle said waving his hand up. Alucard walked forward, finally getting to see these "threats". When he stood in the doorway he almost grimaced as he saw all of these vampires, they looked so…so pathetic.

Alucard saw everyone all in couples; most of them had dark hair except for a few of them and they all seemed to be adolescents, and all seemed extremely weak! Was he really going to have fun with these pathetic lumps of meat?

As Alucard was rethinking whether or not to kill them now and not waste his time he was interrupted when he saw someone approach him. It was a young woman with short dark brown hair. It was Alice.

"So you're… Alucard, was it "The woman said while examining the older vampires appearance, she seemed to be distraught by him for some reason, was it because he was so tall, or his creepy long red overcoat? No it was from the madman grin he was giving her!

"Yes and what do you all call yourselves?" Alucard said trying to put a tone of interest in his voice and taking a good look at everyone in the room.

"We're the Cullen's Mr. Alucard "said Esme walking forward beside Alice. " Why don't we all tell our guest our names" The woman said while crossing her arms.

"I'm Emmett" Alucard just kept his usual grin on looking from person to person. "My name is Esme and this is Alice" the woman in front of Alucard said with a smile on her face. "I'm Jasper…" The weird ass looking one said with his wide ass eyes. And finally the two people who were snuggling on the couch like this was some cheap hotel date. "My name is Edward" the douchiest looking one said while firming his grip on his wife's shoulder, "I'm Isabella… but you can call me Bella" the girl said with an emotionless voice and grumpy cat face. Alucard didn't care about these useless introductions since he was just going to kill all of these vampires sooner or later this evening.

All of a sudden another one showed up out of her room, she had long wavy blonde hair wearing a black t-shirt. She stopped when she spotted Alucard and her expression went from easygoing to surprised.

"Who the heck is this weirdo, creepy much?" the girl said with a snotty tone looking at Carlisle for an explanation.

"He's a vampire; I don't know him though, but he said he was curious about something when I met him outside, what is it you're curious about Alucard?" Carlisle said questioning the ancient vampire.

"First I would like to ask _you _a question, why is it you let me inside your domain so easily?" Alucard said grinning hoping the answer he'd get would be amusing. "I mean, don't you feel threatened by my presence, dosen't the thought of my very existence make your skin crawl? Doesn't it make you want to take away your own lives before I could?" Everyone was looking at each other confused then Edward opened his mouth for the answer.

"…Because you're no threat to us." He said walking further to Alucard. Alucard's grin widened even further. "You're alone, do you really think you could beat all of us alone, well… you've got another thing coming."Edward was now in front of Alucard. "I bet Bella could kill you easily herself!" Everyone in the room were either looking at Alucard or Bella waiting for their reactions.

"Bella, so you're saying she's the strongest one here?" He said while taking off his hat and sunglasses. "How interesting!" he barked with his eyes glowing and his fangs showing.

"W-well, she is the newest to become a vampire… so she's stronger and faster than the rest of us" Edward said looking at the demonic face coming from the creature. "And she's a shield, so you can use any of your powers on her!"

"Yeah, but I won't need to hurt you unless you give me a reason to…" the emotionless faced girl said smugly while standing up with her teeth showing even after she was done talking. (What a dumbass!)

"….wow, you're actually really handsome Alucard." Alice said looking at him and his porcelain white skin and black hair that waved to the left like it had a mind of its own. "You're even paler than the rest of us!" She said with fixed eyes on him.

"Hey, I'm still here!" Jasper yelled. Alucard just kept smiling. "I'm happy to see there are still people as stupid as all of you" Everyone looked at each other offended by their guest's rude choice of words.

"Hey, you're starting to get on my nerves!" Emmett said walking toward Alucard looking to teach him a lesson and throw him out. Emmett threw a quick punch to Alucard's face and shattered his jaw bone, then he knocked him over and Alucard's motionless body hit the floor.

"You shouldn't get angry so easily babe." Rosalie said while going over to look at Alucard's remains. All of a sudden everyone saw Alucard's gloved hand twitch, then all of his blood was flowing back into his body. Everyone gasped when they saw the corpse stand to its feet looking weirdly taller than before. Its red eyes were glowing from the shadows. "That can't kill me, scum!" all of a sudden Alucard was in front of Emmett, he tried to punch Alucard again but he quickly grabbed his fist. "You'll have to do much better than that, brat" Soon Alucard was shattering all of the bones in the vampires hand. He was rewarded with screams of misery and terror from everyone in the room.

"Y-you'll pay, you damn bastard!" Rosalie screamed while witnessing Alucard stepping of Emmett's head like a grape. She dashed over at Alucard attempting to kick his abdomen, but instead she got both of her arms torn off like wrappers. Alucard's had a demonic expression while he slowly saw her tendons and tissues ripping apart and the beautiful sound of her bones snapping. She started screaming like a maniac on the floor with blood gushing out of her wounds, Alucard decided to let her stay like that a while longer.

Everyone in the room was in complete shock, they couldn't believe what just happened, and they were all angry but their fear was much, much stronger.

"Who's next?" Alucard said hoping the next few would put up a much greater fight than these piles of trash beneath his feet.

All of a sudden he felt a kick on his chin and he went back. When he looked down he saw Alice starring at his furiously, then Alucard felt someone on his shoulders attempting to rip his head off. (LOL) It was Jasper.

Alucard reached into his coat and grabbed his casull gun and shot Jasper in the mouth with it. He hit the wall and his brain was gushing out the back of his skull as his blood splattered on the window.

"NO! JAAAASPER!" Alice cried. Before she could rush over to attack Alucard again he shot her clean in the heart. Her body stumbled to the floor.

Alucard turned his body to find everyone glaring at him, but that only made him happier! He loved the looks they were all giving him, to make it even better he shot Esme in the head two times and in the heart 3 times. Before she could fall to the ground Carlisle caught her. He looked up and saw the evil creature with such pleasure from what it's been doing leaking from its eyes and smile, it was a fucking devil!

"I needed to get the trash out first" Alucard whistled to himself, he was about ready to wrap this up and go back to London and tell Integra she had nothing to worry about and how she wasted his time with this stupid task, even the police girl could do this in her sleep! But he just heard the man on the floor beginning to speak.

"Why…why would you do this? What could drive you to do this to someone; we didn't do anything to you!" The man stood up staring at Alucard. "Who are you really? You're too powerful to be a vampire! Where did you come from monster!?"

Alucard found this amusing so he decided to answer this pathetic mans question since he was going to kill him in less than a minute anyway…" My human name was Vlad Tepes, I am the late ruler of Romania, I am the Impaler, I am the king of vampires, I am DRACULA!" Alucard said walking towards Carlisle with his gun in hand and his devilishly handsome smile on his face. He stopped 2 feet away from the blonde man.

"CARLISLE!" Bella and Edward screamed running over to help him; they stopped when they saw shadows on the floor under their feet with thousands of red eyes staring at them. They looked over to Rosalie's still squirming body and saw her trying to drag herself away to her room.

"Seeing that grin on your face, must make you such a pitiful creature… how much harm and mental damage could one get to turn out like you? How ca—"

He was responded with a shot to the arm, Alucard wasn't going to let him die too quick. Alucard's grin left his face, but he still didn't seem angry, just annoyed with this fly buzzing in his face. He quickly grabbed Carlisle and pinned his neck to the wall, he slowly began to lift his body from the ground leaving the weaker vampires legs to dangle from the ground. Alucard was slowly strengthening his grip.

"How much do I have to hurt you for you to die? Can I keep pulling off your limbs, can I shoot you until you're just a pile of meat, can I rip your head off more than once?" Alucard could hear the man's neck crushing but he knew he wasn't killing him… vampires didn't need to breath. Alucard grabbed Carlisle leg a pulled it off, the sound of blood pouring to the floor made his spine tingle. "You'll have to do better than this monster!" Carlisle spat. Alucard unexpectedly yanked the man's head off. He dropped it to the floor and let it roll to the couch. He dropped the torso and stared at it with a devilish grin. "Trash shouldn't be alive this long," Alucard said looking at all of the killings he's done. "Speaking of trash, were are those other 3 nuisances"

He couldn't sense anyone, then all of a sudden he spotted Edward lunging himself at him at full speed, Alucard blocked him effortlessly and Edward hit the window like a fucking dumbass. He quickly turned around to look at Alucard who was blankly looking at him, almost like he was thinking about what to do next. "You're a fool thinking you can stand against me, you pile of trash, not worthy to call himself a vampire… you disgust me you little peasant!" Alucard barked at Edward.

Alucard was fixed on Edward; he was planning something good indeed! Edward began to panic "Wh-what the hell are you doing to me!?" Alucard didn't respond he just kept staring at Edward with his same devilish grin, and glowing red eyes. "You're going to go whatever I say"

"I'm going to do whatever you say" Edward repeated almost as emotionlessly as Bella. (But not quite because no one could be as emotionless as that cunt)

Alucard grinned as Bella was rushing over to her husband's side, shaking him to see if he could fall from Alucard mind trembling spell. "Edward, snap out of it, I'll give you some of shield power!" Her face became even more constipated as she tried to concentrate her dumb powers on Edward. She was quickly punched in the face by Alucard. She fell to the floor with blood dripping from her mouth and spitting out some teeth that still has gum tissue connected to them.

"You want to rip your face off, pull out your eyes, and cut off your tongue" Alucard said in his baritone voice while moving his gloved had to Edward face.

"I want…to….rip off my face" Edward quickly grabbed both of his cheeks in each hand and was quickly tearing the plump flesh off and throwing chunks of it to the ground. Whenever tendons were still attached he tore them off like yarn which resulted in showers of blood gushing from the contact, Bella gagged from the sight of her husband's flesh hitting the floor beside her. She tried to crawl away to no avail. Alucard was right behind her and he pressed his leg over her ankle.

As Edward continued dismembering his face Alucard was going to finish his job so he could go back home. He leaned down and grabbed Bella's hair and yanked her from the ground, she shrieked in terror as he pulled her face close to his. "So, you're the strongest…..care to put on a show for me?' Alucard whispered while he stared deeply into her eyes. He was responded with a loud annoying scream. Alucard's demonic smiled went across his face as the red moon went through the windows and he threw the girl's body out, shattering the glass. He looked in glory as he saw her body get impaled by a tall tree. He turned to see Edward on the floor with his face squirting blood with 98% of skin on his face missing.

Alucard pulled out his Casull gun and shot him in the neck twice which split his head from his torso. Alucard was walking past the piled bodies and pools of blood on the floor, moving further into the house. He walked past a room to see Rosalie on the floor, to his surprise still alive. When she noticed Alucard in the doorway she began screaming and struggling to scramble away.

Alucard smiled and walked closer to the armless creature on the ground. He pushed his foot on her head to reduce her irritating whining, then he began to use more force he could hear a crackling noise, before he knew it her head cracked open then blood and brains were on his boots. He grimaced, not wanting any of these peasants' bloods to touch him, there was no way he would consume a drop of these dogs blood, they would probably make him weaker!

Alucard walked over to the shattered window he broke earlier and gazed at the full moon.

"What a beautiful moon this is tonight" Alucard murmured to himself smiling.

"Time to report back to my master."


	2. Chapter 2:Killing Woofey-chans

**Title: Alucard vs The Cullens**

**Rated: T**

**A/N: I wasn't planning on writing a second chapter to this fic but an idea crossed my mind and I'm forcing myself to fulfill my sick desires so here's another chapter. Nothing is to be taken seriously, I'm writing for my own selfish needs on expressing my hate for faggy sparkle queers, although this chapter doesn't involve vampire killings. Enjoy.**

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Jacob and Renesmee were holding hands walking through the dark forest coming back from a date. Having no idea what has happened to their family….the Cullens.

"Hey Nessie, how about we visit your mom and dad before we head back to my place?" The werewolf said holding the thin girls wrist.

"Well, if you want to Jakey…..sure!" the girl said taking lead in the dark forest, pulling on Jacobs wrist.

As the young couple was getting closer to the glass home Jacob suddenly stopped, startling his girlfriend.

"What's wrong Jakey?" The teenage girl said placing her hand gently on the wolfs shoulder trying to comfort him.

"I sense something bad…." He glanced at Renesmee then continued looking ahead. "Very bad."

"What is it?" The girl questioned the serious male. All of a sudden he blasted off into the darkness heading for the Cullen household, Renesmee quickly followed obviously scared. "Jake answer me, do you think something happened to my parents!?" she said running as fast as she could. When she looked ahead she lost sight of Jacob but she continued to run. She came to a stop when she bumped into Jacob and fell back.

"Jeez, why did you stop?" The girl said standing to her feet. Her calm expression suddenly changed when she saw her boyfriend staring intently at his hand, which seemed to have blood on it!

"Jak-"she was cut off when Jake raised his hand and turned to face her.

"This blood, I know this smell" Jacob said shaking his hand.

"There's a stream of blood leaking from the top of this tree!" Renesmee cried jumping on the branches trying the find the cause of this unearthly occurrence.

"What the hell is up there!?" Jacob yelled when suddenly a high pitched scream caused him alarm. He quickly yelled for Renesmee to come down and she did. He tried to ask what was wrong but she just had tears streaming down her face.

"Nessie…" Jacob said placing his hands on her shoulders trying to force her to snap out of her state of shock. She suddenly broke out a scream and fell to her knees, sobbing something under her breath."M-mom, mom…mom" She kept saying to herself rocking back and forth. Jake kneeled down and slapped her to snap her out of this BS.

"Are you talking about Bella!" he yelled. She stood up and said clearly. "She's dead" Jacob just stood up staring at the girl trying to see if this was some kind of joke.

"W-what did you say?" The wolf said trying to comprehend her cold words. She didn't respond.

"WE HAVE TO CHECK ON THE OTHERS!" He yelled grabbing her thin wrist. He was running as fast he could, within a few minutes they could see the Cullen house. From what they saw at their distance all hell had broken loose. Windows were broken, and it was pitch black in the house. Maybe that was a good thing; they can't see he mangled bodies inside.

When the teens reached the front of the house Alucard saw them from the broken window above. It amused his to see their distress, but he wasn't very interested in killing them, if these fools below him were anything like the vampire wannabes he just slaughtered it wouldn't make a difference if they live or not. On the other hand he probably had to kill them, Integra did send him there to kill "powerful beings" and knowing her she probably wouldn't be pleased to hear that he spared some of these repugnant maggots. So with a grin coming across his face he stood in place waiting for these idiotic children to enter his presence.

As the sound of hurried footsteps became louder Alucard began chuckling darkly hiding in the shadows. He couldn't wait to put more dogs to sleep. (more like dirt)

In seconds the door crashed open. When Jake and Renesmee saw what was left of their friends and family they froze in utter terror.

"D-daddy" the girl said, almost inaudible. Jake quickly cradled the crying girl in his arms.

Alucard started taking slow steps towards the agonized teens. Jacob instantly placed Renesmee behind him, glaring ferociously at the ancient vampire. The look only made Alucard's grin wider.

"Stay back!" The teen yelled. "Are you the bloodsucker that killed everyone?" Jacob said calmly, trying to look dark but not succeeding. Alucard stopped, hissing in amusement.

"Bloodsucker huh?" Alucard said grabbing his casull gun from his red coat. "The things you people call us nowadays" Alucard said aiming his long steel gun for Renesmees forehead.

She noticed and shrieked hiding behind her boyfriend. Jacob was losing his temper, he was surely going to kill this damn vampire!

"Your cheap bravery won't do anything for you or the girl" Alucard said pointing his gun to his side. Seeing how long this needless prattle would last.

"Stand back Nessie, I'll kill this bastard and then we can go home." The teen said talking hold of his girls hand and giving it a faggy ass kiss. Jacob turned around meeting Alucard's gaze.

"So you're going to kill me brat?" Alucard laughed feeling humorous from this pathetic thing in front of him trying to pose as a threat.

"That's right" The faggy Native American said while stripping off his clothes, the sight made Alucard's smile fade.

"What do you think you're doing?" Alucard questioned the toned teen.

"Let's just say you're in for a bite" Jacob said removing most of his clothing. He began to inhale deeply and his body was smoking. In an instant he sprung forward at Alucard in his werewolf state. He tore off Alucards left arm with a lot of effort and grinded the limb between his canines. Renesmee stood beside Jacob and petted his fur.

Alucard just continued standing as if nothing had happened. Jacob rushed forward again continually pushing Alucard back like a ragdoll. But Alucard was smiling the whole time.

"Fall over already monster!" Renesmee yelled glaring at Alucard who had blood leaking from his body due to Jakes harsh contact. He simply began chuckling while his arm was regenerating. In seconds his arm had fully grown back to its original state as if nothing had touched him. The site made both the teens gasp in shock.

"B-but how did you arm grow back?"Jacob said returning to his human form. "I've never seen a vampire do that and I know a lot!"

Alucard just gave a wicked smile lifting his head giving the kids a demonic look which made then shudder.

"You probably haven't seen vampires do a lot of things." Alucard answered walking forward slowly with both guns in hand.

"Have you ever seen these so called vampires turn into mist, a bat or even a wolf?"

Jacob gasped looking into the red orbs of light walking over to him. "Wolf!?"

"Jake I thought he was a vampire?" Renesmee asked her boyfriend who was just as confused as her.

"Enough talking, I will end you're lives tonight." Alucard said pointing each of his guns for the teen's heads, smiling demonically."Farwell."

"W-WAIT!" Renesmee screamed falling to the floor trembling.

"P-please spare us!" The pale girl cried bowing her head before Alucard with uncontrollable shaking. Jacob instantly kneeled down besides her placing his hand on her back, trying to comfort her. Alucard just continued smiling seeing what would happen next.

"It's difficult to explain, but you seem smarter than those other fools I dissipated moments ago." The tall vampire said in response to her actions.

She just rose her head up, still shaking. She smiled lightly with tears streaming down her face looking directly at Alucard.

"Nessie don't bow to this damn bloodsucker!" Jacob yelled, having too much pride in himself to follow her action. He instantly stood from the ground clenching his fists so tight his knuckles were white.

"I'd rather die a man than die a coward." He said looking into the abyss of Alucards gaze.

No response came from Alucard for 10 seconds, which made both Renesmee and Jacob terrified.

All of a sudden the vampire began chuckling uncontrollably then hysterical laughter filled the entire room. Both teens flinched thinking the worst was going to happen. Aluards laughing fit died down and he continued looking at the terrified teens, but he placed his arms down having the guns pointing to the floor.

A flicker of hope spread across Renesmee's face. She stood up slowing but still scared and looked at Alucard.

"D-does this mean you'll spare u—"

In seconds blood was pouring out of the girl's forehead. Jacob didn't know what happened for a second because it happened so fast. Renesmee hit her knees harshly to the ground then her face fell to the floor creating a large pool of blood.

Alucard had a small grin on his face as the blood was making contact beneath his boots. He stepped back from the blood at looked at Jacob who was in still processing what happened to his girlfriend. Alucard suddenly began to speak;

"Was that girl your lover?" Alucard questioned him calmly.

Jacob couldn't respond. He was just staring at the lifeless body of his girlfriend.

"From your reaction I'm guessing she is" Alucard murmured. "Or was I should say."

In seconds Jacob slowly tore his gaze away from Renesmee and looked intently at Alucard. When Alucard saw the young wolf looking at him he decided to do something that would infuriate the werewolf even more!

Alucard slowly went on his hand and knees hovering over the corpse. Jacob had no idea what he was planning to do when suddenly Alucard was leaning his head down over the pool of blood.

Alucard's long tongue snaked out of his mouth as he was licking the blood off the floor. Jacob's mouth gaped open as he was starring at the horrific sight of his girlfriend being devoured by this monster. Alucard wasn't planning on drinking too much of her blood because she had the same weak, peasant blood as Bella and Edward in her veins, but he was satisfied from the look coming from Jacob.

When Alucard finished his unsatisfying meal he lifted his head from the ground looking at Jacob, licking off the drizzle of blood that ran down his chin. He stood up and was waiting for a reaction from Jacob, but he didn't get one. So he decided to stop wasting his time and he pulled out his gun. When Jacob saw he screamed and transformed into a wolf and jumped out of the window. When Alucard saw the ridiculous reaction he just stood above, looking down at the scared little wolf when all of a sudden Jacob began howling.

Jacob was obviously calling for back up. In minutes the forest was filled with howling coming from every direction. Alucard noticed what he was trying to do and he couldn't be more annoyed, but I guess Integra would be even more please since he's taking out additional "threats" besides vampires so he just jumped out of the window and gently landed on his feet.

Jacob saw Alucard with his evil grin and shinning red eyes and growled at him. But he was cut off from his rage when he heard sprinting paws rushing to his side. There had to be at least 20 werewolves present, and the number only made Jacob happier. He was taking lead of the pack and spoke in his weird wolf/human talk.

"THIS VAMPIRE KILLED THE CULLENS INCLUDING RENESMEE!" Jacob growled. The whole pack began surrounding Alucard and growling ferociously licking their noses. Alucard saw the lame sight and began chuckling deeply under his breath and that only make the wolves angrier.

"What's so funny vampire?" One wolf said standing in front of Alucard. "Are you laughing because you're finally going to get to end your miserable life?" another wolf added. Alucard just kept smiling and lifted his hand making all of the wolves flinch.

"No, no, no" Alucard said taking a quick glance at all of the wolves circling around him.

"I'm laughing because I feel like a cannibal eating actual dogs, although the thought of cannibalism has never stopped me before." He said darkly. All of the wolves looked at each other wondering if this was a good idea.

"Y-you're just insane, let's kill him!" Jacob yelled, but all of the wolves hesitated, but eventually sprung forward. As they were rushing for him they could see a red mist surrounding Alucard and a red eye in the middle of his chest. They all stopped running and saw the horrifying monster that was before them. In a minute a large black dog came from Alucard that seemed to have 3 multiple faces and a demonic wale. In quickly got hold of many wolves and flung others into the air devouring the poor souls. Cries from wolves that sounded like dogs could be heard in the area.

Alucard saw some wolves trying the run back into the forest, so, many of his arms holding his casull gun came from the black masses of demonic energy and shot each of the wolves In the neck or the heart. Alucard didn't keep track of Jacob but he knew he had already killed him in the beginning since he was in front.

Minutes passed and nothing remained of the wolves. He transformed back to his normal form and a sneer came across his face. He was happy to report back to his Master and tell her of his little journey and complain to her about the time he wasted, but first he was going to bring back the police girl a souvenir, maybe a limb?

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**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3: The Vulvatori fucking die

**Title: Alucard vs The Cullens**

**Rated: T**

**A/N: Finally. The long awaited third chapter. You guys probably thought you wouldn't live to see the day but I'm here to fulfil your sick desires as well as my own. Now, without further ado, enjoy! P.S I'm kinda fucking sorry **

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Upon making his way back to England, with his skinned fur pelts and bloody hearts in tow, Alucard began to think to himself, was there a possibility that more of these weakened shadows of true vampires existed anywhere else in the universe? The thought of his suspicions being true made him feel a bit peckish, but all the more disturbed. He found it hard to believe his descendants of darkness could be reduced to scum known as the Cullens.

He was nearing the destination of his private helicopter sent by Integra, courtesy of the Hellsing organization. Silently making his way into it with his souvenirs carefully hidden in who knows where, he made his way back to England. Back to his Master, and the police girl. Oh what a tale of idiocy he was to soon share with them. The thought of their baffled reactions forced a smile to his face.

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**England: The Hellsing Manor**

Integra sat solemnly at her desk, with her pristine white gloves intertwined. With Walter by her side, waiting for her every order. Seras happened to be off at the moment training with the Wild Geese, she had no idea what was in store for her when Alucard arrived back. Which was…

In a fragment of a second Alucard appeared before Integra and Walter. Integra put down the field report she was looking over and gave her undivided attention to the Nosferatu.

"I've come back, my Master." Alucard announced in a smooth voice.

"Yes, I see," Integra replied placing a cigar between her lips, as Walter lit it. "So, how did the mission go?"

Alucard began to give a dark, long, chuckle reminiscing on the event. Remembering their pathetic cries for life and pleas for forgiveness left him with an absurd feeling of comic.

"If I may ask, my Master," Alucard began "Whoever informed you about those beings I destroyed in America being powerful must have been a very foolish man."

"What are you talking about?" Integra spoke defensively. Alucard caught himself giggling a lot as of late, it's just, the memory of his slaughter was so foolish he couldn't help BUT laugh. If he didn't laugh at this he'd be pissed off instead. To think his valuable time and awaited anticipation for some fun where all wasted on swine.

"Those fools I eradicated, those so called threats, were nothing more than bugs wriggling around at my feet." Alucard said in a sinister way. Integra raised a brow at his choice of words. Filled with sincerity. If Alucard found this task to be a waste of his time, then she knew he'd feel the same for the one she was to assign him today!

"Alucard, I actually have a mission for you and Seras to do today." Integra declared trying to change the subject. Alucard gave his head a slight tilt as he stared directly at the leader of Hellsing. "A very important mission."

"Oh?"

"I'm going to send you to Tuscany, Italy." Integra took an especially long drag from her cigar. "We've heard rumors of their being an ancient vampire cult residing in the Volterra castle. Their connections to many dangerous vampire cults around the world would be of vital information to the Hellsing organization."

"Volterra?" Alucard said as if the name rung a bell.

"Do you know of them?" Integra questioned.

Alucard snickered. "Of course not. It just sounded so familiar."

Integra gave a hinted smirk as she delicately removed the expensive cigar from her mouth. "My orders. Search and destroy. Over."

He had to be honest, Alucard knew these self-proclaimed vampires wouldn't put up much of a fight, just as the Cunt bags he killed hours ago had. But he knew it was a direct order and he had no right to complain, after all, killing was killing, and that was his favorite activity.

"As you wish, my Master." Alucard said, giving a slight bow to his head. With his orders given, and his destination set he was on his way to defeat the Vulvatori. (Joke intended)

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Before heading out to Italy, Alucard had retrieved Seras from her training with the Wild Geese. On their way to their jet Seras seemed to have been informed on the mission to the Volterra castle hours prior to Alucards arrival. With the meaningless prattle out of the way Alucard had suddenly remembered the gifts he had brought back to his little underling.

Rummaging through his red over coat he pulled out a strange foreign object from his inner pocket. Seras glanced over and soon noticed what this was. A heart! And a very fresh looking one at that.

"I thought you might enjoy this, police girl." Alucard said with a sly grin as he passed the organ over to the young Draculina. Seras whimpered in alarm as she tossed it around with both hands flabbergasted and slightly disgusted, but she was nonetheless thankful her beloved Master thought of her on his travels. She couldn't help feeling jubilant.

"Thank you Master." She said with a bright smile. Alucard continued on ahead with his signature smile still plastered to his face.

"If you want to please me then promise me you'll show no one any mercy during the hunt, got that? Seras Victoria."

"Right Sir!" She saluted enthusiastically.

Alucard couldn't help but start to look forward to the journey ahead. These so called vampires, the Volturi, were in for a hell of a fucking ride.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Hours later and they had finally arrived in front of the Volterra castle. It was nearly almost midnight where they were right now. Alucard took a deep inhale as he calmly shut his eyes to get an aroma of the night. He felt as if he were at his peak right now during this magnificent night, with the moon shining brightly in the sky. But alas, with all this he didn't sense an ounce of power nearby. He began to ponder how on earth anyone knew that vampires resided here. I mean, he was the Vampire fucking King. If he couldn't sense it, then who on earth fucking could?

Distracted from his thoughts he turned his attention to Seras, who stood beside him waiting for him to say something. She seemed to be slightly nervous to be going on a mission so far away from England. Alucard leisurely placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Seras flinched at the contact but quickly looked up to Alucard.

"Don't worry, you'll do just fine." Alucard said in his normal tone of voice. Seras nodded in reassurance. They both walked over to the vacant entrance of the old castle side by side. Ready to start their blood bath. Alucard couldn't help but let a neurotic smile cross his face.

As the two genuine vampires entered the building, they noticed a fluttering light at the end of the hall. It seemed to be coming from a room that was completely candle lit. Seeming as though their minds were synchronized, the pair moved forward without tact.

Like animals, a vampires senses were sensitive to danger. But these two vampires literally felt nothing. Alucard usually never felt threatened, even from vampires in the same category of Luke Valentine, but still, not even a natural sense is what he felt. Even Seras, basically new to the world of the undead didn't look the least bit concerned for the situation. If Alucard had learned anything from his experience, he knew the upcoming task was going to be just as pitiful as the quarrel with the Cuntllens. But maybe this time his egotistical tendencies could spread themselves in an entirely different light, which was always fun.

Nearing the room Alucard and Seras began to hear the voices of people that seemed to be talking like they were from the old times. If Alucard was that kind of person he'd roll his eye. Seras was grasping onto her Harkonnen as she wait idly next to the entrance, waiting for Alucard to make the first move. And boy, did he.

With his hair flowing to left with life, he slowly walked his way into the large room. It looked to be some type of throne room. Four "vampires" sat atop the thrones, while many others governed the ground. Each of them saw Alucard making his way into the room. Some of them could sense an indescribable evil emitting from the outsider. Some of them stood with horrified expression backing away into the nearby wall, while others took on a nonchalant attitude and stood their ground. However, the four that governed the thrones looked down in amusement. Snickering here and there as if they were some kind of badasses. (LOL NOT)

Alucard stood directly in the middle of the large room. The flickering light of the candle lit chandelier peering off his handsome features. His long, messy hair was covering his eyes. All that could be seen on him was his amused smirk. Seras quickly stood behind him with a serious expression on her face. Her large weapon made some people in the room laugh out loud, but she ignored them.

One of the vampires in the middle throne broke the silence of laughter by slowly raising his hand. He seemed to be the leader. His dark hair was pushed back, and his eyes were a milky red. It was the leader of the Volturi, Aro. He gazed at Alucard, with the whites of his eyes incredibly noticeable. He looked somewhere between a heroin addict and a kid with severe autism. Either way he didn't look normal,

After a moment of silence the dusty vulva leader spoke.

"What brings…. you here." Aro trailed, not phrasing this as a question. When he spoke he had this sort of translucency to his voice, ya know, like a chronic heroin addict.

Alucard slowly peered his eyes towards him, the glowing red becoming especially prominent. Every vampire in the room gasped.

"Y-You are!" Someone uttered.

"Yes. I'm a vampire."

A mix of confusion and terror broke out between everyone in the room. The main four on top stood bewildered.

Aro looked to his colleagues as if to make a decision. They all seemed to share a mutual understanding. Aro, along with Caius, Marcus, and Jane stood from their thrones and in an instant appeared before their people. Aro stood ahead of them and gradually made his way toward the two.

"What are your names?" He asked in a whisper. They both paid no attention to his question. Knowing he wasn't going to get an answer, he changed the question.

"What can I do for you?" Still not a single utter.

"You respond when Aro speaks to you! You ingrates!" Caius yelled. Aro quickly motioned for him to stop him embarrassing reaction, knowing he didn't have his ugly hoe in line.

"Death has come for you." Alucard said letting his devilish grin adore his face. He reached into his pocket and slowly pulled out his .454 Casull gun. In an instant he shot three people standing in the back. He shot them clean in the forehead. As they all drop harshly to the ground, the spurting sound of fresh blood could be heard, and it was like music to his ears.

About to go on the defensive everyone in the room looked prepared for battle. Aro raised his hand and everyone quickly stood in their tracks.

"Enough gentlemen, we shouldn't let a death or two ruin this perfectly civilized conversation."

Aro progressed directly in front of Alucard and was close enough to feel his evil aura emit. He leaned toward Alucard and spoke words softly into his ear. Trying to be intimidating but failed.

"What is it I can do for you, my child?"

Now that was the last straw. He couldn't resist the urge to break out in a hysteric laughter any longer. This was just too fucking rich. Alucards demonic laugh filled the room in seconds. He nearly kneeled over from how hard he was laughing. Everyone in the room, including Seras flinched from his sudden outburst. Aro looked at him as if slightly irritated. But ne noticeably took many steps back.

As Alucards fit died down he wiped away beads of red blood that threated to fall from his eye. The Nosferatu hadn't had a laugh like that in a century. Letting out a few more surges of laughter Alucard spoke in a husky voice.

"Child? A bit rude, don't you think." Alucard said smiling in amusement. "Who exactly do you think I am brat?!" Alucard barked harshly.

"Master." Seras said unconsciously.

"And, who might you be…Mr.?" Aro said opening out his arms quizzically. Alucard looked at him intently with his red eyes looking extra menacing.

Alucard smiled wide letting his sharp white teeth show. "Oh, you'll find out soon enough."

Taking that as a threat Aro instantly ordered the invaders annihilation. "Jane, attack them."

In an instant the Cat in the Hat reject hoe spoke her single deadly word, aimed toward Seras.

"Pain."

Strangely many seconds passed and nothing happened. Jane gave a confused expression. Her lazy eyes prominence was duly noted. She soon gave a higher concentration to her power but still nothing seemed to happen. She received a brain fart and gave up the task entirely. Their trump card was basically useless up against that of Seras and Alucard. All the vampires of the Volturi stood utterly mind fucked.

"How could this be! "Caius roared. All the heads shared his confusion. Was it possible they were dealing with a shield?

"Haven't you ever perfected the talent of using your third eye?" Alucard mentioned. "My fledgling may be the lowest of the low, but she still knows when her priority calls forth her will."

Alucard raised his gun, and Seras was right behind him. His sadistic pleasures were calling forth to him as he pulled out the Jackal. Both of his guns pointing in opposite direction of each other, the bullets awaiting sweet release. Seras gave an expression of determination, and another part of her wanted to make her Master proud of her. Either way, it was a good combination for a massacre.

Seras pointed her canon to Jane. Giving a loud yell she blasted an entire round into her skull alone.

Everyone began to panic, as they lashed themselves toward the pair in hopes of overpowering them by numbers. Silly fools, didn't they know this was the way he liked it? Without the numbers it wouldn't be a true bloodbath.

Alucard began firing off rounds in every direction with unparalleled accuracy. One by one bodies fell to the ground, dead with the first shot. Soon they realized they weren't getting hit by normal bullets. Their eyes widened as some of them tried to run away petrified.

These so called ancient vampires were like scared children about to get spanked. They were fucking pathetic. Cries of agony filled the room. Alucard couldn't help but laugh aloud as he continued to unmercifully kill these bastards.

Alucard glanced over to Seras and noticed she was using hand to hand combat now.

'_She must have run out of ammunition' _Alucard thought to himself with admiration toward his fledgling. '_She must have done a lot of killing_'. He thought it would be a great idea to follow suit toward the remaining three of the Vulvatori. He chuckled as he walked up to them placing away his two weapons.

"Master, there are reinforcements from all over the building coming in!" She yelled as she was tearing though the limbs of the easy targets before her. Alucard was pretty satisfied with taking things slow, but for a change of pace he decided to release his Cromwell restrictions. He always loved the faces of people seconds away from pissing themselves before his monstrous glory.

Aro and his closest colleagues watched from afar as their people were being slaughtered like pigs, by just two vampires! Feeling as if it were his obligation to step in, Aro ordered his two remaining elites to enter the battle. They moved forward hesitantly.

As the onslaught continued Aro watched in utter disbelief. He has never seen anything like this in his entire lifetime. And here before him he was watching the divine supremacy of Alucard. He almost felt honored being before him but would never admit it because he's a dumbass.

All of a sudden the loud, demonic cry from the Hellhound of Baskerville shrieked loudly for all to hear. The millions of spiritual orbs flooded the ground beneath everyone's feet. As if hell was alone in the confinements of this now seemingly small room.

The dog raised high then instantly swished down and swallowed five full grown vampires whole, turning their bodies into mincemeat. The terror began as gun shots were being fired from all direction of the black masses of emitted energy. A simultaneous act of gun shots being fired and Baskerville eating multiple people is what drastically decreased the Voltori's numbers. Seras was killing the last remaining few, all that was left were Aro, along with Marcus, and Caius but near dead.

Alucard called back his familiars as he returned to his normal crimson apparel. Seras and Alucard slowly walked toward the pathetic creatures with their natural vampiric grace accompanying then. Alucard stood tall above Marcus as Seras stood next to Caius. Alucard gave a satisfied smirk when he saw the aching plea for release coming from the petty man laboring the ground. The old vampire slowly raised his arm from the ground, the long digits shaking uncontrollably.

Alucard leaned down and grabbed the man by the head. His hand was so big it was as if it was a perfect fit around the man's skeleton like face. Alucard began to squeeze the hard bone. The dusty vampire began to grasp onto Alucards arm in a futile effort to escape but to no avail.

"Goodbye, you won't be missed." Alucard hummed with a sadistic tone. Everyone in the room watching the horrendous act knew Alucard was enjoying his game of torture a little too much, the cries and chocked sound for help made everyone wince.

In seconds the pressure finally gave away and the head exploded with popping noise. Marcus's face was reduced to a crumble of bone, tissues, and blood. Alucard slowly stood and gave Aro a stare, as if saying

'_You're next'_

Aro seemed to have heard it. He backed away harshly like a coward, falling to the ground multiple times. As Alucard approached closer he began to scream in fear. Alucards laugh seemed to be radiating through his mind like an insane chant.

"S-Stay away! MONSTER! AHHH!" Aro yelled trying to shield his face.

Seras just had to look away when she heard the blood turning screams the pathetic leader was giving. She knew this was their job, but she couldn't deny the fear she had of Alucard in situations like this. She turned her focus toward Caius and decided to just rip his head as clean as she could manage. Ripping it off and dropping it to the ground, she turned to see Aluards work and nearly fell over.

"M-Master, you've really outdone yourself this time?" Seras said trying to lighten the atmosphere. Alucard just turned toward the exit in turn. Seras scurrying behind him. She took one last look to Aro, who was right now just pile of meat and grime on the ground, like filth. He wasn't identifiable, all of his organs were squashed like water balloons, and his bones ground to dust.

As they made their way back to England things were quiet. Alucard imagined what it would be like if someone like Anderson were assigned the task of killing the Voltori, the image made him happy for some reason.

He gazed over toward Seras, who looked to be on the verge of sleep. He was thankful for now that their mission was over, and sleep didn't sound like a bad idea. Maybe he'd dream of the glorious night. The night of death.


End file.
